This is how I feel.

Sooo.. I know and understand that everyone has a time in their life where it just seems like nothing is working out or going their way, and I know that I am having a very long one of those times lately... It's not that I am not happy in general, it's more that I just feel completely and utterly overwhelmed with anything and everything right now. My problem is I just don't know what to do. I don't quite now how to make it better... My mind tells me "Well Emily if you get your house clean and organized, then you will have more time for working out and eating better will be easier, which in turn will give you more energy to keep up with Logan, and since you won't be obsessing over said house and weight, you will have more time to do the things you enjoy like going out and you won't feel so bad about coming home to do schoolwork, and scrapbooking (which you don't want to get out and just add to the mess) and having people over, and just think about how great it would feel to have all your paperwork organized so that all your bills got paid ontime instead of finding one the week after its due...." (Yes. This is what I am constantly thinking.) But it all comes right back to I can't get over the overwhelmingness (Is that even a word?) of my house. I just don't know where to start, and honestly I feel like it is effecting ever aspect of my life right now. I just don't know what to do. I think everything in life is easier said then done, and I swear I do try, I feel like a bad wife and mother most of the time because I am not great at house chores, or I have a harder time paying the bills, I want to be better, I feel like I can not live like this much longer, it's overwhelming. I am not one to talk about my feelings much and I don't really feel like I have that many people to even talk about them to, so I guess that is why I am writing them on here, I need to get them out. I know most people (like my husband, who is great because he does put up with me) if I told him this, which I have tried, would say "It's not hard just pick stuff up." Again, it's easier said then done, if it was that easy for me I think that it would have been done already. I've had this problem my entire life, and I am at the point that I just don't know what to do, who to turn to, so I guess I turn to you all. I guess I need some words of advice, or something.... And well if you have gotten this far, thank you for reading this... sometimes we all have to get our feelings out...

Logan showing off his sign language!

Soooo here is my little man showing off some of his skills! These are the signs that he uses the most day to day! I'm so proud of him! Love you little man!

Logan's weekend at the fair...

Soooo... we went to the fair this weekend, I think Logi had alot of fun, there was soo much to see and do, and Katy and 'Mar were there, that was an added bonus!

Logan and Andrew on the carousel, one of the 2 things Logi was tall enough to go on, next year though...

This was the second thing he could go on, with daddy of course, Drew said about half way down he was saying "weeeee!"

Grandpa and Logan playing the games, there was a lot of concentration going on here and then a close call with an over throw, but grandpa caught him before he went over!!

I swear that the three of them didn't plan there outfits ahead of time, but isn't it cute how they are all three wearing plaid shorts!!

That is one strong little man!! I want to say thank you to my mom(even though it was under crappy circumstances) my dad and angie, and Drews dad for making sure we had a great time!!! We really do appreciate it!!

Hope everyone has a great week!!

Logan's future harley...

Sooo.... lately it's been tough. Thats all I really want to say about it, it's been tough. Why dwell on it, that won't change it. But you know what they say... "when it rains, it pours..." "it has to get worse before it gets better..." I'm thinking positive though... my favorite time of the year is just around the corner, fall, ome, I just love the thought of fall, the feeling of it! ( the only thing I don't like about it is how it gets dark earlier... oh and that it means winter is coming...rrrr...) I start my 2 classes I will be taking this quarter on Sept. 23rd... I really need to figure out what it is I want to do... and the sooner the better... my goal is to get the house all cleaned by then so that it will be one less stress for all three of us around here... I can't wait to go to the fair, I think that Logi will understand and enjoy it soo much this year, I can't wait to go pick out pumpkins, to figure out what Logi is going to be for halloween, to decorate!, to light my pumpkin spice candles, to plan Katy's halloween party, for "NEW MOON" lol!! There are so many good things can be ahead, and I am going to do my best to embrace those things.

This though, was the highlight of my day....

Logi picked out his first harley when he and Abby came to visit me at lunch today, I think a sportster is a great starter for him! ( And I bet if he could tell you he'd say he loves the horn!!)

-If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. -Maya Angelou