caught my eye + deals 11.22.24
17 hours ago
Monday, September 28, 2009
This is how I feel.
Sooo.. I know and understand that everyone has a time in their life where it just seems like nothing is working out or going their way, and I know that I am having a very long one of those times lately... It's not that I am not happy in general, it's more that I just feel completely and utterly overwhelmed with anything and everything right now. My problem is I just don't know what to do. I don't quite now how to make it better... My mind tells me "Well Emily if you get your house clean and organized, then you will have more time for working out and eating better will be easier, which in turn will give you more energy to keep up with Logan, and since you won't be obsessing over said house and weight, you will have more time to do the things you enjoy like going out and you won't feel so bad about coming home to do schoolwork, and scrapbooking (which you don't want to get out and just add to the mess) and having people over, and just think about how great it would feel to have all your paperwork organized so that all your bills got paid ontime instead of finding one the week after its due...." (Yes. This is what I am constantly thinking.) But it all comes right back to I can't get over the overwhelmingness (Is that even a word?) of my house. I just don't know where to start, and honestly I feel like it is effecting ever aspect of my life right now. I just don't know what to do. I think everything in life is easier said then done, and I swear I do try, I feel like a bad wife and mother most of the time because I am not great at house chores, or I have a harder time paying the bills, I want to be better, I feel like I can not live like this much longer, it's overwhelming. I am not one to talk about my feelings much and I don't really feel like I have that many people to even talk about them to, so I guess that is why I am writing them on here, I need to get them out. I know most people (like my husband, who is great because he does put up with me) if I told him this, which I have tried, would say "It's not hard just pick stuff up." Again, it's easier said then done, if it was that easy for me I think that it would have been done already. I've had this problem my entire life, and I am at the point that I just don't know what to do, who to turn to, so I guess I turn to you all. I guess I need some words of advice, or something.... And well if you have gotten this far, thank you for reading this... sometimes we all have to get our feelings out...
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4 comments:
It is good to write out all the feelings. It's not easy to keep a clean house and look after a little one. I don't clean as much as I used to and if it's just me and my hubby at home it doesn't really matter. I do feel better though when I know my house is clean and organized. Every once in awhile I'll go through stuff and get rid of the junk we don't use or need. Sometimes it's easier to take it a room at a time. I also heard of a thing where you can set a timer for 10 minutes and in that 10 minutes clean a room and whatever you get done that is it. And you do that for each room. It's a neat little concept.
i'm glad you stopped by...
I perpetually felt what you described here when I had little ones.
First and foremost, I was exhausted.
Secondly, I think I was depressed, I loved what I had in my life, but I was overwhelmed.
I gave myself a lot of grace, and thankfully, my husband also gave me a lot of grace.
Even though my house often looked awful...my husband and my kids knew they were loved. Even if the food I put on the table (barely) was nothing special..., my family knew they were special.
This got us through.
I am much better for quite a while. Probably got better about the time the little ones went to preschool and I got some time for myself again.
Hang in there...I know how hard it is...give yourself some grace, it goes a long way.
Thanks for the sweet comment.
~Julie
I feel like housework is a never ending job and sometimes I feel like a failure for not being able to keep up with it. But then I remember that my house is meant to be 'lived in'. I had a hard time keeping up with te bills so I printed up a list of all the monthly bills and as they would come in the mail I would write the due date and amount next to it. It helped me figure out which bills to pay when and kept me from forgetting to pay. As I would pay the bills I would check them off my list. Each month I would start with a fresh list. It really helped.
Cleanin is absolutely overwhelming because it simply never ends. I struggle with finding motivation to clean b/c half the time I wonder what the point is. Accepting that cleaning and homemaking is an art helps keep it in perspective for me. My life is a canvas. Some days I need a little more primer For example.. cleaning the baseboards or under the fridge. Somedays need a little more accent... like finishing a scrapbook page or writing a really great blog post. Either way, all of it works together as part of the whole masterpiece that is my messy life.
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